LEADERSHIP STARTS AT HOME
1 TIMOTHY 3:4-5; 12 NKJ
4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?);
12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
There is a principle with God. Faithful in little is the key to be ruler over much. We saw this principle in the parable of the talents in Matthew Chapter 25.
Wherever we are, we start there. We don't wait for a top position to start serving; we serve where we have opportunity. We don't wait until everything looks perfect and buttoned up financially to start giving; we start right where we are. Faithful to handle small things is the open door for more and bigger responsibility.
This same principle applies to church leadership in pastors, overseers, and deacons. Paul is talking to Timothy, who is responsible for putting leadership into place. In each position, one of the qualifications is they must rule their own houses well. How bout that for a socially incorrect position? Paul would have been so canceled today. But before you tweet or post, we have to look at the word rule. In the Greek language, it means set over. Other bible translations have it as manage, preside, and lead. We too often associate rule with dictator, but that's not what the scriptures suggest. These verses suggest that church leaders are first able to lead their own households. If you can't handle your own house, how will you lead, manage, preside, and oversee God's house? In fact, Paul uses the words "how will he take care of the church of God."
Home leadership and church leadership are about caring, not dominating. That being said, leading a home will not always be a popularity contest. Having reverent or respectful children who submit to house leadership will not put you on your kid's best friend list. At least not in the short term. But all homes, as in all churches, can benefit immensely from godly leadership.
My three children were raised as PK's, preacher's kids. I did not do everything right with them. If you ask them, they will tell you. But one thing I did do was lead. And they all will testify to that. I did not dominate them. I acted out of care. Not perfect, but by the grace of God and Joy's influence, they turned out well. I would tell them as they grew up that my job was not to be their friend. Interesting that now they are grown, we are friends, and our relationship has deepened over the years. Before I could lead The Ark, I had to lead my own home. God works with us right where we are. Start with what you have.